Rating: R or NC-17---depending on your view but NO MINORS.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Dana Scully, Monica Reyes, John Doggett, or Walter Skinner. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 productions, and the Fox broadcasting. No permission, no profit. Lyrics to Seal’s Love’s Divine and Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain used without permission, as is everything else.

Summary: Takes place three years after Healing.

“Agent Reyes won’t be in for the rest of the week, she says she has the flu, is she ok? I don’t remember her ever missing this much time.” Skinner inquired of Agent Doggett.

“The flu musta really taken her out, she don’t get sick often.” Doggett responded. He wasn’t sure what was going on with Monica. She almost never gets sick, and when she does it is usually only for a day. She religiously gets her flu shot every year. He was worried it had been three days already and now she would be out for the rest of the week. Something was wrong, really wrong. This wasn’t like Monica. He had been trying to call her, but kept getting the answering machine. Agent Scully was on vacation so he couldn’t disturb her, but he was worried and dialed Scully’s cell just in case. No answer, what the hell was going on he wondered.

*--------------------------------------------------------------*

Monica’s head was throbbing. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to steady her stomach, to no avail. She jumped up and barely made it to the toilet for what felt like the hundredth time this morning. She shakily made it back to sofa trying to block out the blur of scotch and Morley lights that her life had become. She cursed the day she ever met Dana Scully. She existed but she stopped living last Sunday night when Dana left. Now she desperately tries to drink and smoke the woman out of her mind, her pores, her every being. Monica wasn’t the type to drown her sorrows so to speak, but this piercing in her soul was more severe than any she had known before. She knew something had been bothering Dana, she could sense it. She pulled a pillow over her head; she couldn’t think about this right now, she didn’t want to think about anything at all.

Damn it even the pillow smells like her.

*----------------------------------------------------*

Dana eyes were stinging. For someone who didn’t like to show emotions, she was in no condition to control them. The pain reverberated through her soul, and there wasn’t anything she could do to make it go away. The involuntary tears came as she thought again about how perfect this would have been for her and Monica, the bed and breakfast was even named A Little Dream.
*-----------------------------------------------------*

A loud pounding startled Monica out of her dream and back to the agonizing pain of reality. Who the hell is trying to beat my door down? “Monica, you in there, it’s me John” Monica grunted and pulled the covers over her head. There was no way she was letting John in her house. One look at the empty scotch bottles and piled high ashtrays and he would know something was up. She wasn’t prepared to get into it all with him. She wasn’t even able to look at John let alone give him any explanation. “Monica, I know yer in there, yer trucks out front. Just let me in I want to make sure your ok, I won’t stay I promise.” Monica huffed and shifted she tried to ignore him. “Look just say sumtin it’s not like you to be so sick and, Agent Scully won’t answer her phone. I need to know yer ok.” Monica’s heart shattered all over again at the mention of her name. Why did he have to say that? She jumped up off the sofa and swiftly approached the door. “Look John, I don’t know what you don’t understand, I am sick. I don’t want to talk and I don’t want any company. I am going back to bed!” Monica snapped through the closed door, making her way back to the sofa( actually she could barely look at the bed, let alone think about laying in it since Dana left). She knew John was just concerned and it was sweet of him, but she couldn’t deal with anyone right now. She was having a hard enough time dealing with herself. She knew Dana was her soul mate. If she was sure of nothing else she was sure of that. How could Dana do this to her, to them? How could she just walk away, when all I could do was watch her leave?

*--------------------------------------------*
Dana thought back to when she first entered the room last Monday evening. The sight almost dropped her to her knees, as she fell back against the door. She planned this vacation for her and Monica three months ago. All the arrangements were taken care of then. All the way down to the three dozen long stem roses, and the chilled Dom Perignon. It was supposed to be a romantic week away, a celebration of their love. She meant to surprise Monica with it last week, but that was before. She had contemplated coming in the first place; then decided she needed to get as far away as possible. Since it was located in Maine and everything was already paid in advance it was the logical choice. She was just as sure now, as she was then; it had been a mistake a very big mistake. She fell on the bed crying uncontrollably her anguish taken over. She tried not to think about how the simple act of waking up with Monica’s breath on the back of her neck illuminated her soul. She knew Monica deserved more than she could ever give her. How could she look in those beautiful eyes and confess that her remission was over. That she was dying. She knew Monica would love her until the very end. She was after all the most beautiful, compassionate, loving, and giving woman to ever grace the face of the earth. This however, was too much to ask of even her. How could she lay all of that on her, weigh her down with the reality of her impeding death. She vowed to love Monica with all of her heart, and soul until time was no more. She would certainly be keeping that vow, but she understood that it was best for Monica for her to leave. Even if it meant hurting her, the end justified the means. Monica deserved someone who could spend the rest of their life with her, someone to grow old with, and someone who still had a life to live. She believed until last week that someone was her. She reached into her bag and pulled out her sleeping pills, she hated taking them, but she was unable to sleep at all if she didn’t. At least when she slept her turmoil ceased. She had a re-occurring dream though. She often dreamt that she was a blue jay alone in a beautiful open sunlit woodland area. She could not fully appreciate her surroundings due to her wounded wing; it had been broken leaving her susceptible to all of the enemies who inhabited the area. As she began her quest for nourishment she noticed a lovely small songbird approaching. The songbird delicately examined her wound, with a subtle sweep captured the blue jay in her mouth and flew them to the songbird’s nest inside a tree, where she lightly laid the wounded on the softest area of the nest. The songbird went to the outside branch, hanging upside down catching insects in her mouth. When she has gathered enough she returned to the nest to feed the blue jay, this in addition to the mix of berries, seeds, and the tender way the songbird licked the wounded wing causes the blue jay to renew her strength. When the blue jay’s rejuvenation had become complete she ventured out to the branch beside the songbird, not wanting to leave her. The songbird‘s love for her was evident not only by her actions but also the look in her eyes, the songbird placed her wing on the blue jay and some how they both united and became one. A large eagle flying out above the sea, two small birds becoming and existing as one, on a journey together determined to discover all of what lied before them. She knew the songbird was Monica and if this was the only tangible way to hold the cherished memories that now scorched her being, threatening to reduce her body and soul to ash, given the choice, she opt for the pills. She was exhausted, and she began to drift off thinking about how she longed to see her again, to bathe in her smile, she couldn’t help but wonder what Monica was doing, and how she was feeling.
*-----------------------------------------------*
Monica sat lifelessly on her sofa, her terry cloth robe draped around her. The TV was on but the sound was down.

Run in the shadows
Damn your love
Damn your lies
And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again

The lyrics drifted out of the stereo speakers, scotch in one hand and a cigarette in the other. While her silent tears streamed down her face. The darkness penetrated her as if it were her very breath. She realized that the combination of the music, scotch, and smoking wasn’t making her any better but right now she could barely breathe, let alone bring herself to do anything constructive. Nothing made sense to her, she kept mulling over what exactly happened. She knew something had encumbered Dana, but she wasn’t sure what it was. She tried to talk to her. She told her that when she was ready they would talk about it; and no matter what it was they would get through it together. She had no idea that she was the problem. That Dana didn’t want her anymore. How could she just fall out of love with me like that? At the drop of a dime telling me the night before she was leaving to go on vacation for a week? Did she go alone? Was there someone else? Dana swore to me that she wasn’t involved with anyone. She even gave me that infamous line, “it’s not you, it’s me.” What the hell does that mean anyway? She wondered. Yet there was something in Dana’s eyes, love, truth, and pain. Monica’s head hurt nothing about it made sense and she was so tired of thinking, examining it, analyzing it, looking at it forward, backward, and still not knowing anything more than when it first happened. She wanted to call her, to ask her, to try and make sense of it all, but she was never one for drunken dialing. If Dana wanted to talk to her she would call her. She would have to leave it up to her, since she was the one who ended it. Oh, how she wanted her to call, to declare her love, and admit her mistake. Monica felt her very being unraveling slowly with each breath.
*-----------------------------------------*
Dana awoke her eyes were still stinging, and too heavy to open. She yearned to call her, to apologize profusely pleading for another chance. Just then she felt something wet, she reached up to wipe the blood from her nose again. This was how it all started, the night she had spent alone; Monica and John were away on a case. She awoke to dried blood on her nose and pillow. She had assumed that returning the chip caused the remission, but why now was that over? Her mind thought back to when it had first made itself known in her body so many years ago. She had described her cancer as an unannounced dark stranger who starts out as an invader only to become one with the invaded. How it was science’s equivalent of demon possession. The x rays that she had requested from her doctor confirmed that the mass returned. Her diagnoses was the same a nasopharyngeal mass, that was inoperable due to it’s location between the superior conchea and the sinoidal sinus. Her prognosis was a little less than three months at the rate the tumor was growing. She remembered what Mulder’s funeral was like and she would be damned if she was going to put Monica through all of that. It was better this way even if it meant Monica would hate her. Dana’s body convulsed and shook. She believed she was doing what was best, but the forceful pain of leaving Monica was relentless. It was as if tentacles from the very depth of hell were reaching up to pull her down to the darkness beneath her. It was as if it was reflecting her past back upon her leaving her to face a truth she could no longer deny, she would die alone.

*----------------------------------------------*

The loud pounding on the door startled Monica awake. She had passed out on the sofa and was stiff. Her body and head ached as she walked to the over to see who was banging on her door. If it was John, God help him. Instead she saw AD Skinner through the peephole. She panicked; lucky for her she had sobered up while she slept. Unfortunately, she couldn’t bark and leave him out there like she did John. Yet she couldn’t very well let him in. “Just a sec” she yelled out as she raced to get rid of all the empty bottles and full ashtrays, swiftly running a brush through her hair. After hiding everything and turning off the stereo she opened the door.

“Agent Reyes, I apologize for not calling first, however I was uncertain as to whether you would answer.”

“Yeah, um I’ve been sick and not checking the machine.”

Skinner could smell the thick cloud of smoke, and by the looks of Agent Reyes it wasn’t the flu she was struggling with.”

“Monica, I need to talk to you.” His voice turned uncharacteristically soft.

“What is it sir?” She motioned for him to take a seat on the sofa.

“Well, it’s about Agent Scully.”

Monica’s heart hit the floor, and her body threatened to faint. She nodded for him to continue the mere mention of her name rendered her speechless. She took a seat in the chair.

“Well I received a very unsettling call from Dana, this morning. She requested a leave of absence. I am at a loss to understand why; she was abducted, as was Mulder who was later found dead, she was diagnosed with cancer, her sister was killed and she lost her daughter Emily, not once has she requested a leave, despite my advising her to so in each circumstance.”

Monica’s eyes began water, the tears streaming down her cheeks despite her best efforts to hold them in.

Skinner eyes were watery and it was the first time Monica had ever seen him this way.

“I don’t know what to say” she managed to get out.

“It is not my intent to pry, but I am deeply concerned, for the both of you.”

The look in his eyes was sincere.

Oh no, he knows something happened, and he knows it is personal.

Monica wasn’t sure how much more she could take of this, it was excruciating, just to listen, let alone try to talk about it. She also understood that it was necessary for him to know. He was the Assistant Director, and more than that he was a very close friend. If only he wasn’t her boss, she could avoid this a little longer like she did with John.

“She…left.” She choked out, looking at anything but his eyes.

“I know she is in Maine on vacation.”

“No, she left….me.” it was almost inaudible.

“I don’t understand. I was honored to be a part of your wedding. In all the years that I have known Dana, I have never seen her so alive, full of life as she is with you. I don’t know what to say, I don’t mean to be insensitive. Is there anything at all that I could do to help?”

“No, but thank you” she whispered.

“If you think of anything, call me.” He spoke tenderly as he made his way out the door.

Monica fell into the closed door, sobbing. She wasn’t sure how she was going to make it through this but the one thing she did realize was that drinking herself numb wasn’t working. She took a deep breath and headed to the shower, maybe a long hot shower would help.

*--------------------------------------------*

Skinner headed toward air strip he already planned his flight when he hung up with Scully this morning; he wanted to stop by Monica’s first to confirm what he already suspected. Something was terribly wrong between the two of them. He knew where she was staying. When she had to put in for Monica’s time off she had to explain why she was requesting it and not Monica herself. She clarified that she had planned a surprise romantic week in Main, she left him with the necessary emergency contact information should he need to use it. He was at a complete loss as to why she had chosen to go alone and more than that why Monica had no idea about the trip. Why would she leave the one person who truly made her happy? He knew how she was with Mulder, but that paled to say the least to what she had become with Monica. Something was gravely wrong and he was determined to get to the bottom of it, for both of their sakes.

*----------------------------------------------*

Monica searched for something to watch on TV there was nothing on as usual. She put in her smurfs DVD that Dana bought her as a stocking stuffer one year. She hoped that would at least distract her. Unfortunately it only reminded her of her wife. She stretched out on the sofa with her blanket she fetched out of the closet when Skinner left, trying to will herself back to sleep. At least when she was asleep she didn’t have to think, the problem with that was that she only dreamt of Dana.

*----------------------------------------------*

Dana was startled at the knock on her door, who in the hell would be knocking on her door?

It was Skinner.

“Sir, what is it, why are you here?”

“We need to talk.”

She could tell by the look in his eye that he knew something was wrong.

“Come in”

He walked in noticing the three dozen roses strategically placed in the room, and the unopened bottle of champagne now sitting in a bucket of water. He took a seat at the table unsure of how to begin.

“I am sorry to interrupt your vacation; however I am concerned with the situation you brought to my attention when you call this morning.”

“You really didn’t have to come all the way up here sir, I only requested some time off.” Scully spoke through tight restrained features, bowing her head momentarily to shift her walls into place.

“You and I both know that, you have never requested time off regardless of the circumstances. Do you want to tell me what is going on?”

“Nothing is going on sir; I just need a little time.” Scully reiterated in her best distant professional voice, almost with a matter of fact air.

“I went to talk to Monica this morning; she doesn’t look good, hell, she looks like death. She wouldn’t say much.”

“She should have told you to mind your own damn business.” Scully snapped. She knew Skinner was only trying to help and that his heart was in the right place but damn him for hunting her down trying to make her talk about this.

Skinner knew Scully all too well, he knew she would become defensive, try to piss him off so he would leave and she wouldn’t have to tell him anything. He watched her do this throughout the years with him, Mulder, and anyone else who threatened to get too close to her. She even tried this with Monica at first; yet there was something different about how she opened up to her. This was one of the first things he noticed about the two of them. That was before he ever knew there was anything more than a friendship between them. Actually they hid it quite well, for a very long time.

“I know what you are trying to do, but it’s not going to work. I am not leaving until you talk to me.”

“Why, why do you have to know anything at all?” Scully did not like the direction of this conversation, in fact she didn’t like any of this.

“I cannot even imagine what could cause you to request a leave of absence, nor can I begin to fathom what would cause you to leave Monica.”

“I thought you said she didn’t tell you anything?” she said sharply.

“I practically had to drag it out of her, but I would have known one look at her, the smell of scotch and stale smoke that filled the house.”

Scully’s heart dropped and a lump lodged itself in her throat. She fought to hold back the tears, but that image of Monica was almost more than she could bear. She briefly felt the room begin to swim.

“It’s in her best interest that I did.” Scully’s head dropped and she let out a deep sigh.

“I don’t understand, why would you say that?” Skinner pleaded.

“You’ll just have to trust that I know what I am talking about.”

“Well quite frankly I don’t, I may not be a romantic, but I see how you are together. If there was anyone who was meant to for each other it would be you and her.

Scully was touched by his honesty and the tenderness of his speech.

Skinner’s eyes watered as he continued.

“Dana, please don’t make the same mistake that I did. I thought I needed to protect my wife. That by withholding a part of myself and my work I was doing what was best for her. Before I realized what had happened I had completely shut her out. When she filed for divorce I understood her reasons, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell. I still regret it until this day. I lost her, because I didn’t know how to open up to her.”

The tears began to stream down Dana’s cheeks, she and Skinner were alike in the way that they almost never opened up to anyone, and that he was opening up to her now touched her all the more. She stared at the floor.

“My remission is over” she whispered.

There was a moment of silence.

“I…um am sorry, is it …the chip?”

“No, the chip hasn’t been removed. The nose bleeds began again; I went in for x rays where it was confirmed. It is spreading rapidly my prognosis is less than three months. She preferred to just state the facts, which were difficult enough for her to get out.

“I am sorry. I had no idea, take as much time off as you need… but you have to tell her.”

She sobbed as her face twisted in pain, “How can I tell her, what am I supposed to say to her? I love you and I’m dying?”

“Just tell her the truth, she loves you and deserves to know.”
*----------------------------------------*

Monica looked out the peephole to see a very worried John Doggett standing on the other side.
This time she opened the door.

“Skinner called he wants you in Maine ASAP. His buddy got a charter plane, he’ll fly ya out, but we gotta go now.”

“John, slow down what is this all about?” Monica’s heart was racing, when did Skinner go to Maine? He was with Dana, that she was sure of but why was she being summoned? What did that mean?

“Is Dana ok? What is wrong?”

“He said she is ok, but wouldn’t tell me nuttin else, Monica this don’t make sense, none of it makes sense. I don’t understand what is going on.”

Monica grabbed her keys and her jacket and they were on their way. John took her to the plane and dropped her off, telling her not to worry. Even if he was worried himself, he didn’t know what all the cloak and dagger stuff was about.

The entire plane ride Monica’s stomach was in knots. She didn’t quite know what to think. She tried to concentrate, to use her gift to give her some indication of what was going on. The truth of the matter was that she was entirely too emotional to pick up on anything.

Skinner was waiting when they landed.

“Thank you for coming Monica, I will take you the rest of the way.”

“What is all this about sir?”

“I am afraid I can’t tell you anything, just that Dana needs to talk to you?”

“But I don’t understand why didn’t she call me? Why isn’t she here?”

“Like I said, I can’t tell you anything, but it will make sense when she tells you”

Monica couldn’t shake the feeling that Dana was in danger. Why else would all of this be going on? What does all of this mean for the two of them?

The car ride was agonizing. Skinner remained silent, trying to hide something in his eyes. He scarcely looked in her general direction. When they pulled into the bed and breakfast Monica really didn’t know what to think. It’s not the type of place people usually go to alone. Surely Skinner wouldn’t bring her all the way up here, for her to hear Dana found someone else. No he wouldn’t do that to her.

She let them in. One look at her and Monica’s heart broke again. Dana looked like hell. She had lost an unbelievable amount of weight in almost a week. She didn’t need to loose any as it was. She stepped inside the room, and her head started to throb, what the hell was with the roses and the champagne? Well the champagne wasn’t opened, that was something, wasn’t it?

Skinner excused himself.

“Monica, I need to talk to you, but I have to admit I am afraid.” She took Monica by the hands and sat her down, with tears in her eyes; Dana continued to stand pacing nervously in front of her.

“Dana, what is it, just tell me.” Her voice was shaky but calm.

“I made a terrible mistake, but I did so believing it was in your best interest.”

Monica nodded, to indicate she was listening, but remained silent.

“It’s my…the…cancer…it’s back.” Dana admits through her tears.

“Oh… honey I am so sorry.” Monica said almost on autopilot as she found herself in a sudden state of despair. She wasn’t quite able to think or say anything else at the moment.

Dana continued to weep. Monica stood up and wrapped her arms around her allowing her head to rest on Dana’s neck.

“It will be all right, we will get through this together, you beat it before and you will beat it again.”

“Mon, I have less than three months left.” She muttered.

Monica’s head was spinning, how in the world could this be happening. She thought back to when Dana’s mood changed, that must have been when she found out, but what brought it on? What was she going to do now? Whatever it was, they were going to do it together. She fought back the urged to be pissed as hell that she would shut her out; but she knew that, that wasn’t going to make an already difficult situation any easier.

“I will not accept that, we still have time to find another way.” Her tears were streaming down her face as she pulled Dana closer to her.

“The chip is still intact, but my remission is over. It doesn’t make any sense.” Dana said through her sobbing.

“We will figure it out baby.”

Dana tightly closed her eyes reflecting about how good it felt to be in Monica’s arms again. She thought about how truly loving and understanding she was, and all of the other qualities that caused her to fall in love with her in the first place.

They remained standing there just holding each other as close as possible. They both were emotionally and physically drained. The words echoed through Dana’s mind.

There the rainstorm came over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all my belief you see
And realized my mistake
But time through a prayer to me
And all around me became still
I need love, love’s divine


They were both physically and mentally drained. Each of them were in deep thought, not really sure what to say to each other, just knowing that they needed one another, afraid to break contact. They got into bed naked, not that either of them was in any condition to participate in anything other than sleep. There was an almost frantic need to feel each other’s skin against their own. To prove this was real, that they hadn’t lost each other. Monica lay on her back as Dana crawled on top of her; the brunette gently swept back her auburn hair as they held each other until they floated off to sleep.

Monica awoke to a very soft sensual kisses on her lips.

“Dana, please…I don’t …” was all she could say.

Dana continued her soft kisses, her thumbs gently making patterns on Monica’s cheeks.

“I need you; please let me make love to you.” She breathed.

Monica’s body had no trouble responding to neither her kisses nor her touch.

“I don’t know…if this is…” The brunette tried again.

“Please” the redhead whispered continuing her soft sensual kisses, softly brushing the brunette’s hair behind her ear.

“I love you Mon, gosh I love you so much” Dana whispered.

“Oh, baby I love you too”

Dana’s hands brushed down Monica’s ear, down her shoulders and back into the brunette’s hair. The redhead’s hands lightly traveled down to caress her wife’s breast, taking her time to cup, feel, and massage them. “Mmm” Dana smiled and trailed her sensual kisses down the brunette’s neck, settling on her breast. She began to trace lazy circles with her tongue around her ample breast, her taut nipple, sending more heat through Monica’s body, as well as her own. The brunette arched her back at the sensation as the redhead began sucking and nipping on her nipple twisting her tongue around it, releasing it to glide down to the lower part of her breast, between her nipple and her rib cage. She knew it always drove Monica crazy and she loved being the one to do it. She took the lower part of her breast into her mouth and began to lick and suck on it. Monica almost flew of the bed at the sensation. “Mmm, she let out a throaty moan, as Dana continued sucking and nibbling on the lower part of her breast languidly moving her way down her abdomen. The redhead was determined to take her time, to demonstrate how much she truly loved her, and missed her. If that meant fighting back the urge to devour her quickly she would. Monica was having a strenuous time holding back her need as well. She knew and understood her wife, what it was that she was trying to convey to her through her love making.

“Oh “she whimpered as Dana’s tongue found its way between her legs, gradually making its way inside her. Her mouth taking in her labia, tenderly sucking, softly grazing over her with her teeth “Oh Dae” Monica let out a deep whisper. Her tongue entered deep inside then back slowly licking her entrance, and then made its way to her swollen clit circling it, caressing it. Monica threw her head back, her desire and need consuming her, as the redhead slid her fingers inside of her stroking her slowly and deep at first., matching the brunette’s own rhythm as her strokes quickened and deepened she added another finger while her thumb circled the brunette’s clit. Dana made her way up Monica without breaking intimate contact, and kissed her deeply, until the brunette clamped down on her fingers, she looked deep into her eyes watching as her wife came. Monica took Dana in her arms and hugged her trying her best to fuse their bodies together. They laid there in each other’s embrace for quite some time. When the brunette was ready she began to make love to her wife, taking her time, pouring every ounce of her love into each touch. She kissed Dana softly, from her ear down along the back of her neck, her arms, her hands, down to her fingertips. She took her fingertips into her mouth and began to twisting her tongue around them.

“Oh Mon” Dana moaned.

Monica worked her way back to Dana’s breast showering them with all of the attention her mouth could give. She then noticed her wife’s legs parting in anticipation. Not one to disappoint the love of her life, she made her way down. She rested her hands on the bed on each side of the redhead’s hips, hovering over her blazing centre. She flipped her hair over so that the length was dangling above her lover’s passion. She seductively, gently lowered her head so that her hair fell against her wife’s bottom. She raised her head allowing her hair to brush slowly up and down against Dana’s centre. It was one of the most erotic things the redhead had ever experienced.

“Mmm, Oh, Mon” Dana let out a throaty moan.

She continued this until she was certain that the redhead could barely stand it any longer, she then delicately allowed her tongue to enter her wife, tenderly licking and sucking her. She continued to slowly, passionately make love to Dana’s centre until her wife released into her mouth. She positioned herself above the redhead placing the side of her hip against her wife’s clit, the wetness and heat covered the brunette’s bare skin. She slid her hip from side to side allowing for just the right amount of pressure while increasing the rhythm.

“Mmm, Mon” The redhead groaned, Monica’s hip felt so good against her and she was sure her heart was about to burst at the thought of not loosing her wife, but also in response to the love they were making. They both knew and understood each other beyond words, what the other was thinking, desiring, and needing.


Dana’s was bucking and panting; she loved they way her wife made love to her. She began grinding herself against Monica’s hip. Her need to unite their bodies was consuming her. She frantically bucked and continued to grind until she fiercely came. She allowed herself time to recover before getting up to go to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror for sometime, noticing that she had dark circles under her eyes, as did Monica, she thought. She couldn’t help but smile, despite the deep circles and loss of weight in her face Monica still made it glow. When she came back out the brunette was waiting outside the door. She took the redhead in her arms and began to passionately kiss her, while guiding her; the brunette lifted her wife up against the wall and continued to kiss her deeply. Dana wrapped her legs around her lover’s waist and her hands on her shoulders, Monica continued to kiss and suck her wife’s mouth and neck as she slid her long lean fingers inside of Dana, sliding them in and out, deepening the stroke and quickening her pace until her wife’s violent orgasm came. Monica continued to hold her and kiss while eventually making her way to the bed, gently laying the redhead down, and then laying down beside her, pulling her lover into her embrace.

“Fuck, whew, damn” was all Dana could get out. Her breath was gone, and she wouldn’t try to speak for sometime. Instead she melted into her lover’s arms until it was time to shower and check out.
*----------------------------------------------*


Monica decided that she would drive them to the airport. During the drive they had plenty of time to talk about things. Dana was explaining about the room, how it was planned so long ago as a surprise for her, but then when she learned of her cancer decided to go alone.

“Dana, honey, I cannot begin to know how you felt when that happened. Nor can I say I know what you’re feeling now, but you cannot continue to make decisions for the both of us out of your need to protect me. I am your wife you cannot keep shutting me out.”

“Mon, I made a mistake I already admitted that. I only made that decision because I love you. I didn’t want you to have to watch me die. I wanted you to be able to move on and find someone to share the rest of your life with. I wanted give you life, not death.”

“I know, but it isn’t your decision to make alone. That is what I am trying to say. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would be willing to make that sacrifice, however, it is a decision that we would need to make together. I do not want to find someone else Dana; you are and will continue to be the only one for me. You are my imzadi, my soul mate, the love of my life, and I do not want you to continue to decide these things on your own. I am not going to bend, or break. I can handle it.” Monica said through her tears.

“Oh Mon, I know, but you have no idea how difficult it was when Mulder died, all the calls, the arrangements, the emotions, the funeral. It took all of my strength to be able to stand. I could not bear to put you through that.”

“It grieves me to know that you had to go through that, but I refuse to believe that we will not find a cure. We will come through this together.” Monica said.
*----------------------------------------*

After arriving home Monica called Skinner and made all the necessary arrangements to take a leave of absences as well. He understood her need to be at her wife’s side during this difficult time in their lives. He extended the same generosity to her as he did Dana, reassuring her that everything would be fine, and to take as much time as she needed. He would take care of things on his end.

Monica spent her days combing through every X files case she could. She searched desperately for something, a clue, anything that could lead to healing Dana. She spent a great part of her nights, after her wife fell asleep searching the internet for any possibility. Despite her love’s pleading for her to come back to bed in the middle of the night after she would awake to the loss of Monica’s presence.

Monica was desperate to find a way, any way that would save Dana’s life. She had even pulled out the boxes of case files that Mulder had stashed away at Dana’s old house, which also had made their way to their house. She was in the process of digging through them when this time she found an unofficial folder stashed away in the bottom of the box. The “case file” chronicled an investigation into some crops circles and a reunion meeting between her wife and an ex lover. Monica’s mind drifted back to the time when she and Dana talked about passed loves, the good, the ok, and the horrible. She remembered the conversation about Daniel Waterston how he was her professor, the affair that took place and how she still regretted it. It was a mistake, a big mistake that never should have happened; she ended it and accepted the position with the FBI. For that Monica would have to admit she was grateful, since that was where she met the love of her life. Besides she couldn’t fault her wife for making a terrible decision in the relationship field, after all she had Brad Follmer in her past and that was nothing to be proud of. This case file was unlike the others, it was written more in the form of a personal journal. She felt a little uneasy at first reading something so personal, that Dana hadn’t shared with her, but then again she was on a mission and the clock was ticking. She becomes rapt in what she is reading. How that Mulder insisted that she deliver some crop circles pictures to a woman who was affiliated with American Taoist Healing Center no less and how that led to such a profound personal discovery.
She had refused to accompany Mulder on his trip to England to follow computer generated predictions of crop circles. They had been separated on occasion during cases but even the time Dana ended up with a tattoo, she told Mulder no, but relented. This case however she flat out refused to go with him. Apparently out of some sense of guilt and obligation she agreed to drop the information off, Monica thought. She continued to read how Scully was first put off by the woman that Mulder sent her to. Hmm that is not surprising considering how she reacted when I first met her, Monica thought.

She read how Scully had sense that Daniel Waterston, who lay in the hospital with a serious heart condition, was dying of something more serious than anyone had realized. That Scully had no scientific proof, or analysis to back her up, but that she strongly knew it, even if she couldn’t prove it. This led her back to Colleen Azar, the woman who she met earlier at Mulder’s request to inquire what this might actually mean. Colleen began to explain that when the body holds in pain there is a need for healing, either physically, mentally, or spiritually, holding on to guilt, shame, and fear creates in us an imbalance. Colleen illustrated this point further by telling Scully of her experience. She was a physicist working 80+ hours a week, believing she was happy, when in reality she had become cut off from the world, she was involved with Carol but was afraid to come out for fear of how everyone around her would react. She remained in the closet but was diagnosed with cancer. It was that diagnoses that caused her to meet a healer who showed her what her disease really was. When she began releasing her shame and telling the truth her cancer went into remission. Scully entered a Buddhist temple, she knelt and began to have a vision, her life passing before her eyes and then she saw Daniel lying transparent, floating in white light; however it was black where his heart was, she could hear it beating loudly. She opened her eyes and the vision was over. Scully brought a healer into his room and performed a healing ceremony over him. The healer believed that his condition was due to the channels in his body not being able to function properly. That they were blocked, and if he could unblock them his body would begin to heal itself. It worked and his healing began even if Daniel refused to believe that the ceremony had anything to do with it. Outside of the hospital Scully caught up with the tall dark haired woman, she reached up and grabbed her shoulder, the woman turns to face her and whispers it’s not time yet and disappears before her very eyes. Scully has no explanation of how this happened. The tall dark haired woman appeared several times throughout the case, saving, and guiding Scully along her path.

Monica’s mind was reeling, after reading all of this, how could Dana be so willing to let her go and just give up? There was hope and here was the proof. Monica was just going to have to admit to her that she read it and that they were going to have a healer perform a ceremony for Dana. Why wouldn’t she want to pursue this? For now, she would just get back into bed and snuggle up with her wife.

“Mmm” the redhead moaned and curled up next to her. The brunette smiled and wrapped herself up into her and relaxed. She was still so excited that she found a cure, it took sometime for her mind to completely shut down allowing her the sleep she so desperately needed.

The sunlight beaming into the room awoke Monica; her mind had no trouble picking up where it left off. She carefully got out from under her lover’s embrace and up from the bed. She was determined to research holistic healers. She quietly made her way out to the sofa where she had left her laptop and the unofficial case file. She began her research when Dana sleepily walked out. “Come back to bed.”

“I will in a minute.” Monica offered. She knew she wouldn’t though; she had too much work to do, with it being Sunday she would have more time to investigate a course of action.

“That is what you always say, but never do.” Dana said rather flatly.

“I have just been busy that is all.” The brunette reassured.

“I know, and appreciate what you are trying to do, but you also need to take care of yourself. Mon, don’t get sick trying to find a cure for me.” The doctor in her wife was coming to surface.

“I will be fine.” Monica insisted.

“Ok, well if I can’t persuade you back to bed, then I am putting on some coffee. I might as well stay up now.” Dana said somewhat annoyed that this had taken preeminence in her wife’s life. It touched her beyond words that her lover would do this for her, but at the same time she still wanted them to have a relationship together. This was consuming Monica and she didn’t want her ending up sick over it. Just then Dana glanced over and saw the case file.

“What the hell is that doing out here?” Dana asked suddenly sounding quite pissed.

“Baby, I am sorry I know it is personal but I found it while I was combing through the old files you have stashed away. Besides, I think there might be some useful information in there to help us.” Monica intended to approach her with the information, not for her to find out this way.

“There is nothing in there that can help us.” Dana sighed and lowered her head.

“How can you say that? This is full of information about alternative healing.” Monica’s voiced raised a little, she couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t at least give it a chance. “It’s worth a try” the brunette lowered her voice again to a pleading.

Dana looked defeated as she slumped into the sofa beside her beautifully concerned wife. She spoke in between sighs, almost at the volume of a whisper. “When the nose bleeds re-occurred I was somewhat taken aback. It was as if my mind was anesthetized. My first thoughts, concerns were for you. What affect this would have on you. I could not bring myself to weigh you down with my condition, to be the one to drain your life force from you as this cancer is doing to me. I essentially sought out answers. After the x rays confirmed what I already knew to be true I sought other avenues. I remembered this case file and reread it myself hoping against hope that I could find a way to spare you from this horrid reality. I underwent a holistic healing ceremony to which the outcome was unsuccessful.” She trailed off.

Monica’s heart fell to the floor. Her mind was spiraling how could Dana have hid this from her? Then she remembered that it was just like Dana Scully to try and protect her at whatever means necessary. She did in fact walk away from their marriage in erroneous attempt to shield her from the pain of watching her die. Even with the full knowledge that Monica would have it no other way. That she would utilize all of her abilities in finding a cure for her.

“I don’t know what to say” Monica said fighting back the tears.

“I know baby, and it’s ok” Dana offered suddenly feeling weak, as small trickles of blood began to make their way down from her nose.

“Oh, my gosh” Monica reached over and wiped the blood with her hand; she stood up and looked in the direction of the phone when her lover stopped her.

“Don’t, I will be fine.” The redhead stated.

“Honey, baby, you’re sick; you need to have that checked out.” The brunette reassured.

“No, there is nothing they can do from here on out. I don’t want to spend my last days in a hospital, Mon promise that you won’t make me” Dana’s eyes were watery as she pleaded with her wife.

“But Dae, there might be something they could do.” Monica begged.

Dana smiled a big warm smile and for a brief moment her eyes regained some of the old spark. Monica didn’t call her Dae often but when she did it melted her.

“Please Mon; there is nothing they can do. I have already exhausted all the options with my doctor I don’t want to die in a hospital, promise me you won’t let them do that to me. Promise me.”

“Ok I won’t let that happen, but you are not going to die. I will not let that happened either.” Monica spoke adamantly.

Monica picked her wife up in her arms, carried her and gently laid her back in bed. She kissed her forehead and went into the bathroom, where she wet the corner of a hand towel and reentered the bedroom. She lightly began to clean the blood from her wife’s nose and lip, drying it with the other end of the towel. She was more determined now than ever that she would find a way. She would die first before she allowed this cancer to take Dana away from her. Monica stayed with her and stroked her hair until she drifted back to sleep. The brunette made her way back to her laptop to continue her research.
*----------------------------------------------*

Monica had purchased various healing crystals each one significant for their healing benefits. An aquamarine, citrine, sapphire, coral, and emerald, she soaked them and gave them to her wife instructing her on their purpose as well as how to use them.

Dana’s condition was worsening, and she was growing tired of Monica dragging her from one alternative healer to the next. Some days she would be in a number of places listening to men and women who proclaimed to hold the lost secrets of ancient healers. The forms of treatment varied, Qi, herbal remedies, healing foods, sounds, oils, aromatherapy, reflexology, reiki, and countless other beliefs. The devastating fact remained, Dana’s body continued to deteriorate. Her loss of appetite, and energy were beginning to take their toll on her and she was unsure as to how much more of this she could physically withstand. She loved her wife. She understood that it was only Monica’s love for her that set her on this quest to find a cure. This was the sole reason Dana went with her. When the end would inevitably come for her, Dana would be able to pass from this life to what waited for her in the next understanding that Monica would find comfort in knowing that she did everything she could for her. This would be the last gift Dana would be able to give to her. A silent tear fell from her eye at the realization that the future would hold no more, birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, or Christmas days for her to shower Monica in her love. She eased into bed. Her body was wearing thin and she was forced to yield to frequent naps. Monica came in to check on her, asking if there was anything she could get her or do for her. Dana just smiled and closed her eyes. Monica waited until she was asleep before she slowly headed back to her papers, cases, and laptop. As she was researching she was quickly taken over by a severe dizziness and nausea causing her to lay her head on the table. The overpowering sense of need felt as though it would rip through her. Her experiences with her gift had sometimes caused pain, depending on the severity of the circumstance, but she had never experienced urgency like this before. It was a simple message, call Jenn. Monica was at a loss. She hadn’t seen or spoken to Jenn since their break up three years ago. What would be so urgent that would cause her gift to respond that way? She had long ago concluded that it was best not to question. To follow through with whatever her instincts were telling her. It would all make sense to her in the end, and it always did. She had to contact a mutual friend of theirs to get Jenn’s number. She no longer remembered it and even if she did, who’s to say it would still be the same one. The brunette showered and arranged a meeting with her ex. She understood that Dana would most likely be upset, not because she didn’t trust her, but because she hated anyone to know anything personal about her. She especially wouldn’t be found of Monica spilling the details of her returning cancer to her ex girlfriend.

Monica left Dana a brief note and met Jenn at the coffee shop on the corner. When she arrived Jenn was already sitting at a table and had ordered Monica her favorite coffee.

“That is what you were going to order, isn’t it?” Jenn asked playfully.

“Well yes, but you didn’t have to.” Monica smiled. She noticed that Jenn still looked at her the same way she did when they were together. Surely she couldn’t still be in love with her after all this time.

“So, other than being married and hunting monsters, what have you been up to?” Jenn teased.

Monica’s faced turned serious, “Well, my wife is the reason why I am here or the present condition she is in, I should say.”

Jenn quickly changed her tone to serious as well. “What is it?”

Monica filled Jenn in on how Dana’s cancer had returned what the diagnosis and the prognosis were. How she desperately sought a way to reverse the cancer since the doctors had given up any hope at all.

Jenn was quiet for sometime then she began to speak carefully. “I know you said she attended a holistic healing ceremony, but have you tried a healing service at a church?”

“Church…I don’t know they don’t seem to welcome people like us.”

“I completely understand why you feel that way. It is true, the church in general has done very little to extend its hand to us. There are decent ministers and pastors out there who believe in treating everyone equally without any discrimination. Any way this is not supposed to be a sermon, just a place you might want to look, that you probably wouldn’t have chosen to. If your wife is a sick as you say she is, what is it going to hurt to try?”

Monica couldn’t argue. “I guess you’re right, it couldn’t hurt.”

“Tell me something Monica, did you call me because of your gift?” Jenn asked.

“Yes” Monica would have to hand it to her, Jenn was no dummy.

“Well, if your gift was sending you here, wouldn’t it make sense that I would have an answer for you?” Jenn asked.

“I guess.” Monica answered not really sure what to believe.

Jenn handed Monica a card, it had the address of the church and the days and times they held healing service. “I am not saying you need to join the church or anything like that, just give it a chance.” Jenn said as she got up to leave. “It was good to see you again Monica, hopefully the next time it will be under more pleasant circumstances.” She smiled and walked out.

Monica knew Jenn wasn’t being offensive and that she did have a point, what did she have to loose by attending a service. It wasn’t that Monica didn’t necessarily believe that there was a God out there; somehow working in their lives, what she did have a problem with was organized religion and what it promoted.

When she returned home Dana was watching TV and drinking coffee.

“How’d your visit with Jenn go?” Dana asked still somewhat unsure of what was going on. She knew it was nothing to be worried about her wife wouldn’t stray, she was just didn’t have all the facts yet.

“It was interesting to say the least.” Monica said deep in thought.

“Ok….” Dana waited, she would not push her.

“Well, it all started after you fell asleep. I had a severe, urgent feeling to call Jenn. To explain to her what was going on with you and see if she had any answers. Normally, I wouldn’t have followed through but I knew this meant something. I had to and I hope you can understand that.”

Dana fought back the urge to be indignant; she preferred to keep her personal life personal. She believed Monica and understood that it was her gift; she knew Monica would never do anything like this under normal circumstances.

“What did she have to say?” the redhead asked trying to remain open and calm.

“She thinks we should attend a healing service at a church she has attended once or twice, but speaks highly of; she gave me a card that has all the information on it.” Monica explained.

“She knew she was talking to you right?” Dana teased. She knew very well what Monica’s thoughts were on church. The redhead had to admit she had a point in some areas, however she couldn’t deny her faith and what it had meant to her through the years. Monica never asked her too, and she deeply respected her for that.

“Yes, she knew who she was talking to” Monica teasingly rolled her eyes before becoming serious again. “She had a point, it wouldn’t hurt to try, baby.”

Dana let out a deep breath. “No, I suppose it wouldn’t. When is it?”

“Tonight at 7” Monica answered.

“Talk about cutting it close.” Dana replied

“I know honey, I wish I could make this gift work on my own time schedule, unfortunately I haven’t quite mastered that” the brunette affectionately replied.

“No, I am sorry that is not what I meant. It is just that it happens to be tonight was all I was trying to say. We still have plenty of time; I’ll make some more coffee.”

“No don’t get up, I’ll make it.”

“Monica, I can still make coffee, I am not helpless.”

“Baby, I know, that’s not what I meant, and it’s just that I am already standing.”

Dana rolled her eyes in her mind. She wouldn’t physically do it, because she didn’t want to hurt the brunette’s feelings. She hated what the cancer was doing to her body; she was always the strong resilient one. She did not like the feeling that she was vulnerable, and fragile. She knew it had nothing to do with Monica per se, it was her issues with her image and how she wanted to be perceived.

They sat drinking coffee, talking and laughing, both were too apprehensive to discuss their reservations about the service tonight, they were afraid that in voicing their fears that it could have an adverse effect on the other.

Dana stepped into the bathroom adjusting the temperature of the water. She was somewhat apprehensive about attending this service. She had witnessed some strange things that had to do with churches in her past with Mulder. She highly doubted this would be anything like the Catholic services she was used to. She let the hot water run over her neck and shoulders releasing the tension in her muscles. She reminded herself that it was Monica’s extrasensory gift that led them down this path to begin with and she had learned to trust in her abilities. She finished washing up and headed to the bedroom to get dressed. Monica was standing there with the biggest, grin on her face. After being married for a couple of years, the brunette was still so excitingly turned on at the sight of her wife’s naked body.

Dana smiled, “Something wrong, Agent Reyes?”

“Um, I think am in need of some medical attention, Dr. Scully.” Monica teased.

“What are your symptoms?” Dana asked with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

“Heart palpitations, feverish, irregular breathing, and a throbbing in my lower region” Monica giggled.

Dana walked over feigning to read Monica’s pulse. “I think you will be ok for now, however I will have to check on you later to be sure that none of your symptoms have worsened. Dana giggled.

“I’ll hold you to that doctor.” Monica sighed and made her way to the shower. She quickly showered and got dressed. She did not want them to be late.

The arrived at the address on the card, the church was a small one located in a bad part of town. It was a run down old building that was in need of repairs. They made their way in and sat in the back of the church. The atmosphere seemed different, almost peaceful. The choir was singing songs as they both decided to glance around the church... after the choir had finished a round of songs they made their way down from the platform and took their seats among the rest of the people. The minister made his way to the front of the church, he said the preliminaries, and welcomed all the visitors. There was something different about this man also. He seemed to possess a genuine concern as he spoke. They were surprised to see him speak as if he was on their level, not above them, self exalted or possessing a need to prove his intelligence. He just spoke to the people as if he was standing on the street with them having a conversation. He explained that to some who are unfamiliar, it may seem strange that God would choose to heal people through him. He recited some bible verses and strongly emphasized that it was not him who did the healing, he was just a man that God was using to heal those in need. He then asked for anyone who had any pain or condition and wanted healing to come up front. They reluctantly approached the crowd that was forming. He spoke softly to each person then touched their head and prayed, some fell backwards with people catching them and laying them on the floor and some cried and continued to pray eventually returning to their seats. When he approached Dana, he paused for a moment as if he was listening to something, he spoke soft but with authority, “You have seen things, things that shook you, your beliefs, and you may have wavered but you never lost your faith.”
Dana as well as Monica were shocked they couldn’t believe this man was saying things that he would have no way of knowing. He continued, “It is a lot to process at one time, but what is inside of you will not stay...” He turned and looked into Monica’s eyes, “I know that you love her, and she loves you. You have been a strong almost saving force in her life; and it is your destiny. Do not let people dictate to you how to feel about God. People can be wrong, well intentioned or not. Do you understand what I am saying to you?” Monica nodded tears streaming out of her eyes. His eyes returned to Dana. “I am going to place my hand on your forehead and pray for you, just be open to whatever it is that God wants to do for you.” He lightly placed his palm on her forehead and began to pray. Dana felt the strangest, warmest, most loving, sensation sweep inside of her, and she went limp. Two men behind her had caught her and gently laid her on the floor. At first everything seemed normal, but then something went wrong. Dana stopped breathing, Monica fell down to her wife’s side, uncontrollably sobbing. She looked up at the minister, “What the hell did you to do her?” He didn’t answer; instead he knelt down on the other side of her. “Get the hell away from her” Monica yelled. Monica was frantic, her hands running over Dana’s hair, anxiously trying to help her and figure out what happened. She returned her steely gaze to the pastor “What the hell did you do to her? If she dies, I will fucking kill you where you stand!” the minister remained silent, his eyes full of concern as he watched Dana.

“Breath, baby just breath, its ok” Monica was hysterical, what was going on? She laid her hands on Dana and began to concentrate, trying desperately to channel her life into Dana’s body.

The minister looked at Monica, and spoke in a loving yet admonishing way. “Your love for her is powerful, please take my hand and pray with me, you don’t have to say anything special, just ask God to do for her what you want him to do.” There was something about him, that caused her to trust him, she couldn’t explain why but Monica took his hand she heard the minister praying aloud, but she entreated of God silently, please don’t let her die, please heal her and return her to me. Please God don’t take her away from me. I cannot bear this. Please. At that moment she heard Dana gasp. She was alive, her eyes fluttered open she seemed unsure of where she was for a few seconds, and then the memory appeared to register. Monica and the minister helped her back up, walked her over to a seat; another person quickly brought her some water. She sipped the water, nodding that she was ok. When she was finally feeling like herself she stood up and thanked the minister for everything and took Monica by the hand and walked out. During the drive home she explained to Monica how she had another vision, that an angel sprinkled her face with some type of golden glitter and instantly she knew that her cancer was healed. She felt it deep within her body and soul, and would of course have another series of x rays done only to prove what she already knew. Monica explained how she had screamed and cussed at the minister but his composure and his countenance never changed. How when she finished praying for her that was when she started breathing again.

Dana smiled. “You prayed for me with the minister, I guess miracles do exist.” She teased.

“I think you having another vision and being healed is a greater miracle than me praying.” Monica blushed.

“Well, that may be so, but thank you, without you I would have never found the strength to keep searching.” The redhead brushed her thumb over Monica’s knuckles.

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“But I do” Dana started to cry, “Oh Mon; to think I would have walked away from you and resigned myself to die, but you refused to give up on me, determined to find another way, and your precious gift led you to the answer, oh gosh Mon, I had been so foolish, I am so sorry.”

“Oh baby, shh its ok, please honey, don’t cry, don’t do this to yourself, it is ok…it all worked out just like it was meant to.” Monica reassured her wife.

Dana reached up and gently stroked Monica’s cheek carefully; she didn’t want to distract her from driving.

They both were quiet for sometime.

“Did I ever tell you about the time that a man told me I would never die?” Dana asked.

“No” the brunette spoke intrigued.

“Mulder and I were investigating a case that involved a serial killer, whose victims were fortune tellers. The man who claimed to be psychic was a fraud, even Mulder didn’t believe him. We ended up running into this elderly insurance salesman who really did have psychic abilities. Actually he was able to see the way people died. At first I didn’t believe him, or in his ability but after time he proved himself. He hated his gift Mon, it wasn’t like yours, and all he saw was death. Can you imagine only being able to see how people die? He had a certain sense of humor about him, and he grew on me after a while. Finally I asked him how I was going to die; he simply responded “you don’t”. What the hell is that suppose to mean?” Dana smiled.

“Wait; is this the same man that left you the dog?” Monica asked.

“Yes it is” The redhead answered her thoughts drifting back to her precious little pet, how it was eaten while investigating a case, that Mulder believed was our answer to the Loch Ness Monster but in reality proved to be an alligator.


“Honestly, I don’t know what it means.” The brunette answered.

They were quiet the rest of the way home, both in their own way trying to process exactly what had happened. Dana said she was healed and Monica believed her. Monica wasn’t exactly sure on how that came to be, was it in fact a divine healing or did it have anything to do with Monica’s gift and her powerful love as the minister had put it, or was it a combination of both?” She didn’t know but what she did know was her and her wife had been given another chance and for that she would always be grateful, even if she didn’t know who to be grateful to.

They walked in the house, both exhausted and physically drained. The service had taken a great deal of energy from them. They changed, cleaned up, and made their way to bed. Monica reached over pulled her little wife close to her, finding comfort in holding her. They continued to appreciate the peace that came from the simple act of cuddling, until they both drifted off to sleep.
*----------------------------------------------*

Dana awoke to the smell of coffee in the air and an empty bed; she huffed and rolled her eyes at what was the norm nowadays.

Monica entered the room with a tray and big smile. The tray held a cup of coffee, a bowl of fresh fruit, a side of yogurt and a single long stemmed rose.

Dana’s face lit up like a child on Christmas morning, “Oh honey, you didn’t have to, thank you, you’re so sweet.”

“I know you haven’t had much of an appetite baby, but could you at least try to eat something, for me, please?”

“Actually I am starving.”

“Really” Monica was shocked; she hadn’t seen her eat hardly anything over the last few weeks.

“I feel like my old self again”, Dana exuberant.

“Baby would it be too much to ask, if maybe… you could… have a few X rays done this morning? I mean I know you said you were going to have them done anyway. You said you were healed and I believe you, honey, I do, but I guess I just need to be sure, for me.”

Dana took Monica’s hand, “I am aware of how difficult this must be for you to understand, to believe. If getting the X rays done this morning will help to ease your fears, baby then that is what we will do.” Dana smiled at her beautiful wife.

After breakfast they showered and headed out to the hospital. Monica was still surprised that Dana had managed to eat all of her breakfast.

They met with Dana’s doctor, going over all of the necessities. Dana had another round of x rays taken and blood work done even though she had to argue with her doctor. He did not understand why she was requesting the test. It made no sense to him, since there was no cure, and she would soon run out of time. He had to admit though, she looked better than what he would have expected. Aside from the excessive weight loss, which was to be expected, she looked well. She had a certain glow about her. He relented and had the test performed.

The doctor entered the room looking as if he had seen a ghost.

“I cannot explain the results of your x rays. I do not understand how this could be. I even had them take an x ray of a nurse, in case something was wrong with the machine itself. There is absolutely no trace of a tumor or anything at all in your x rays. It is as if it never existed.”

“So what you are saying doctor is that Dana is completely healed?” Monica asked.

“It is more than that, when a person’s body begins to heal, there is always an amount of scar tissue present. These x rays reveal no scar tissue, no tumor, and no remnants of anything. According to these x rays, it is as if the tumor never existed.” The doctor was still wide eyed and quite shocked to say the least.

Monica’s heart and soul leap within her. That was all the confirmation she needed, even if she didn’t understand it all. The blood work came back the same way. No trace of anything. It was over, her wife was healed.

She and Dana headed home. Dana explained to Monica how she had felt as if an unbearable weight that seemed to be pulling her under, had been lifted. That light had managed to penetrate her soul again. Monica listened, supported, and encouraged her as she continued to reveal her thoughts and feelings.

“You want to stop and get something to eat?” Dana asked.

“Sure baby, you’re hungry again?” Monica was overjoyed that her wife had her appetite back, she had been frightened by how little the redhead had been able to eat over the past couple of weeks.

“I am” Dana was beaming. The cancer was gone; her beautiful wife by her side, the sun was shining.

“Where would you like to go, what are you in the mood for?”

“You decide.”

“Citronelle?”

“Oh, honey I don’t think we are dressed for that.”

The brunette smiled, “You know you could go there in your sweats and they would still roll out the red carpet.” Monica teased.

“Well I don’t know about that, and besides they love you just as much.”

“Not as much” Monica smiled. “Let’s give it a try, if not we’ll go somewhere else.” She knew they would let the redhead in.

As soon as they walked in everyone smiled and greeted them, and fussed over Dana, how she had stayed away too long.

“Told ya” Monica whispered.

“Hush” Dana blushed.

After their semi romantic lunch they decided to do some light shopping.

“Mon, baby, do you really need anymore leather?” The redhead giggled.

Her wife raised her eyebrow and grinned, “You know you love it.”

The auburn eyebrow went up also “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

After finishing up they head back home. They both felt good, being out with nothing more to do than to enjoy each others company. No talks of appointments, possible healing procedures or techniques.


They arrived back at the house; Monica took a seat on the sofa turning on the TV. Dana sat down beside her; Monica laid her hand on the redhead’s thigh while searching for something to watch, and as always finding nothing.

Dana disappeared and then reentered the living room, wearing her lab coat and a stethoscope in hand.

“Now Agent Reyes, I need you to remove your shirt and bra so that I can examine you, what were your symptoms again? Heart palpitations, fever, irregular breathing, and what was it….a throbbing in your lower region?” Dana teased with a raised eyebrow.

Monica’s lip lowered, “Whatever they were, they just got worse” she said as she took her shirt and her bra off.

The redhead first warmed the stethoscope before placing it on her chest, to listen to her heart beat.

“Hmm, your heart rate is increasing; now take several deep breaths so that I can listen to your lungs.” She instructed as she watched the rise and fall of her wife’s breast licking her lips in anticipation. After all they had been through together, she almost couldn’t wait to express all the intense love she was feeling for her wife. She listened to the front and the back as the brunette continued to play along.

“Your lungs are clear, now l need you to lie down flat and remove your slacks and undergarment so that I can determine the cause of this throbbing” Dana said.

“I am sure you have already formed an opinion about my throbbing” Monica laughed.

“Yes I have, and I have also determined a course of action to treat it, that is if my examination proves my diagnoses to be correct.” The redhead stated as she began to slide the brunette’s slacks off.

“Oh doctor, are you so thorough with all of your patients?” Monica teased.

“Only the ones I happen to be married to” Dana smiled.

She sat between her wife’s legs, carefully examining her lower region. She lightly spread her with her fingers and continued her examination. “It seems someone has become quite aroused.”

“Is there anything you can do for it?” Monica giggled and was becoming intensely stimulated at her wife’s gentle probing.

Dana was taken in by the beauty of her wife’s aroused state. She was indeed beautiful, her full breast, erect nipples, her centre that was swollen, wet, and increasingly in need of her attention. She loved the way her wife’s body responded to her gentle touching. She continued to lightly feel her inner lips, tracing her warmth, inhaling Monica’s intoxicating scent.

“Mmm baby” Monica deeply moaned as her passion was quickly taking her body over.

Dana continued to touch her softly, touching her everywhere except where the brunette needed her to the most.

“Mmm honey, please…” Monica’s breathed.

The redhead continued to slowly touch her wife while evading the most sensitive place.

“Baby, please…mmm” the brunette moaned.

The redhead smiled reaching up to kiss her lover. Monica bent down and kissed her, pulling Dana in closer to her, pressing her bare breast against her wife’s breasts. She deepened the kiss; her hands reached under the redhead’s sweater lifting her bra up to cup her breasts, then quickly began to undress her lover.

“Mmm” Dana moaned, sliding her thigh against Monica’s sizzling wet centre.

“Ohhh” escaped from deep inside the brunette’s throat. She pressed her hot centre harder against her wife’s thigh, beginning to create a rhythm with her hips. “Oh Dae, you feel so good, so good baby.”

“Mmm, so do you baby, oh Mon” Dana felt her own centre oozing even more at the use of Dae again. Oh how she loved when her wife called her that. She leaned down and kissed the brunette again, deeply passionately, she loved kissing her, sometimes she wanted to kiss her and hold her all night, and her wife didn’t have any problem accommodating her need. Actually they never had a problem accommodating each other’s needs regardless of what they were. Dana’s kisses softly trailed down to her love’s gorgeous full breast, continuing her trail all around her breast before taking her pert nipple into her mouth.

“Aaaah” Monica gasped and arched her back. Her hands sliding around her wife’s breast, cupping them circling, tugging, and softly pinching her nipples.

“Oh….Mon…..baby …yes” Dana began panting increasing her attention on the brunette’s nipple, sucking it, swirling her tongue around it, lightly nipping it, while her hand was tugging and pinching her lover’s other nipple. Monica’s breath was becoming ragged as she arched her back even further pressing her breast deeper in Dana’s mouth.

“Mmmmmrrr” the redhead growled.


“Mmmmmrrr” the brunette growled, she loved when her wife play with her like this.

Monica leaned up and kissed her, deeply feverishly, their bodies, shivering, as the porcelain thigh returned to the brunette’s sizzling centre.

Dana released a husky groan in response to the soft, hot, and increasingly wet sensation on her bare thigh; Monica resumed her rhythm against the redhead’s thigh, becoming more and more intense.

“Oh gosh Dae, please, please…” the brunette urgently pleaded.

Dana slid her hand between her woman’s blazing need and her thigh, her fingers slowly entering Monica, she began stroking her lover allowing the heal of her hand to press up against Monica’s swollen clit. The feeling of being inside her sent shivers throughout her body, her own centre was on fire as well. The brunette’s hips began bucking involuntarily as her need to climax took control. Dana quickly matched her rhythm deepening her strokes watching as her lover’s body responded to her. She was still completely enthralled by her wife, and absorbed by the need to fully please her. She gazed deep into her eyes conveying all the love and desire she felt for her. Her wife’s body began to clamp down on her fingers, her eyes tightly closed as her beautiful release came. Monica’s body was limp as her arms wrapped tightly around Dana, pulling her in for a tender kiss, pressing her so close to her body, while her lover’s fingers remained inside of her, until she relaxed enough for Dana to remove them.

“Oh baby I love you so much’ Monica whispered, kissing her wife’s forehead.

“And I love you too baby” Dana replied.

After quite some time had passed Monica finally tried to stretch, the sofa was not the most comfortable place for them to make love. Comfort had never stop them before, they had made love in many different places, using numerous positions, and it had always been worth sacrificing comfort when they needed to.

“Your stiff, let’s go to bed and I will massage your back for you.” Dana said, as she helped Monica off the sofa and led her to bed.

She straddled Monica and began to massage her lean strong back, using first her finger tips to apply deep pressure while moving them in small circles to locate all of the knots in her wife’s back. She would continue to exercise this technique until she had worked out all of the knots. Then she began to use her palms to run them up and down her lover’s back including her neck and shoulders exacting the right amount of pressure until her muscles became pliant in her hands. Monica was in heaven she loved the massages that Dana gave her. She some how managed to relieve her of all tension, soreness, and any other muscle problem she had experienced, and yet leave her aroused in the process. When the redhead finished working out all of the stress and pain out of the brunette’s back, she bent down, placed a small kiss on her back and slowly moved down beside her wife.

“Mmm, that was wonderful” Monica said looking into those big blue eyes so lovingly, Dana smiled and returned the look.

The brunette reached up pushing a strand of auburn hair out of her lover’s face and behind her ear. Then cupping the redhead’s face she leaned in a tenderly kissed her lips, her cheeks, her forehead and her chin, before returning to her mouth. Her tongue entered inside of lover’s mouth, caressing and circling her, becoming more aroused the longer they kissed, as was Dana. Monica positioned herself over her kissing her deeper, trailing slowly down her neck, her clavicle, down to her breast, allowing her mouth to make love to Dana’s breasts. The redhead arched at the sensation, and the brunette continued to kiss, suck, and nip her wife’s nipples. She slowly kissed her way down the pale ivory skin, down the inside of her thigh passed her knee, to her ankle. She quickly switched over to the other ankle and began to kiss and suck her way back up between Dana’s legs. The redhead’s body was on fire and it was twisting beneath her wife, her whole body was shivering at the entrance of her lover’s tongue. Monica couldn’t hold back any longer she began to devour her wife with her tongue. She was licking and sucking her labia, and her clit, circling it, rolling it, covering her insides with her mouth and sucking, releasing her. The brunette could not seem to get enough of her; she continued her attention on Dana’s swollen clit, sucking and nipping it, circling it, her tongue repeatedly darting over it. The redhead arched off the bed, her body tightening, and her breath panting. Monica slid her fingers inside her lover and leaned up looking into her big blue eyes, continuing her deep quick strokes, as her wife’s warm liquid filled the palm of her hand. Monica continued slowly causing several smaller waves to escape into her palm before slowing down to a stop. She kept her hand inside until she could gently remove it.

They wrapped each other up so close and so tight, taking each other in until they both drifted off to sleep.

Monica awoke and noticed that Dana had fallen into a deep sleep that brought a smile to her face. For a moment she watched in awe of her beautiful wife, then her thoughts drifted back to when Dana had tried to leave her, she would have succeeded to if Skinner had intervened. She thought about everything that happened, Dana being healed, she still didn’t quite know what to think about that, and some man telling her she would never die. It all had to mean something, but what? She thought. Suddenly blue eyes were looking at her somewhat pensive.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dana asked.

“Oh, nothing baby go back to sleep. I was just thinking that’s all” Monica tried to reassure her.

“About?” the redhead asked sleepily.

“Nothing really, I am fine” said Monica.

Dana knew better, “Monica I am your wife, whatever it was that had you in such a deep thought you can talk to me about.”

Monica spoke hesitantly “I was just thinking about when you left me, how deeply it hurt to think that I would never see you, hold you, or make love to you again.” Tears spilled down her cheeks.

“Oh, Mon, I am so sorry; don’t cry baby, it hurt me to think about all of those things too. I am so sorry honey” She said pulling the brunette in closer to her with tears in her eyes as well.

Monica continued, “I was also thinking about your healing, what actually happened, trying to understand what it all means.”

“I know, I don’t fully understand everything about it, why it happened the way that it did, but I have to just accept that it was, for whatever reason, fate… Speaking of fate there is something I need to tell you about, something I had forgotten until recently.” Dana paused trying to collect her thoughts.

“Ok, what is it?”


“Mon, I would have shared this with you before, but I had completely forgotten about it until I reread the case file, the one about the crop circles.”

Monica nodded she wasn’t sure what her wife was going to tell her and she was somewhat afraid.

“I didn’t make the connection; I don’t understand why, only that for whatever reason I had no recollection of it. When I reread the file, I remembered the tall dark haired woman that kept appearing to me, to direct my journey and essentially save my life. At first I was unsure as to whom she was or if she was only an expressed image to represent something significant in my life. I know now that she was fate, Monica, she was you.”

“What? How….I” Monica stammered.

“Like I said it wasn’t until I reread it that I understood. I had never met you before and I had no way of knowing that you existed, let alone what you would look like or that you would eventually become my wife, my protector, guiding me along life’s pathways.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that.” Monica smiled her heart warmed; her innocence at what her wife was telling her caused her to become somewhat childlike.

“There’s more if you want to hear it.” Dana offered.

“Of course”

“While we were apart I kept having this re-occurring dream, in which I was a bird with a broken wing, and you found me, took me in and cared for my wounds, you brought me back to health. When it was time for me to leave, I couldn’t bare the thought of existing without you. You some how were able to sense that, you touched me with your wing, and we changed, we became a single eagle, although we existed as one we were still able to be each other separately and the part of the eagle that was you was the one that determined the journey we embarked upon.”

Monica was speechless, her wife opening up and sharing all of these profound revelations with her, she was overjoyed and yet unable to speak at the same time.

“I am sorry, it’s stupid, I know I shouldn’t have said anything…”

“No baby, don’t be silly, of course you should have told me, I am moved beyond words, is all, gosh baby it is a lot to process but yes I thrilled that you told me.” She smiled her big warm smile and kissed Dana’s cheek.

There is the Agent Smiley I know and love, the redhead thought to herself as she smiled a grin that threatened to split her face.

They lay silently in each other arms thinking about what had been spoken, and what remained unspoken.


Monica drifted off to sleep in her arms.


Dana thought about how instead of death she had been given life, and with that life she had been giving a second chance with Monica. A chance to relinquish the hold that fear had on her, to become completely vulnerable and bare before her, to entrust her with her very soul, realizing that Monica was predestined to love her, that they possessed a powerful love, a love that would eternally bind them together and that no cancer, or any other of life’s evils would ever be able to separate them again.




The End.